...and Jesus won't come out of the closet. It drives me nuts. But because I trust him with all my mind, heart and soul, I am indifferent to all the mean and hurtful things he does. Back when I was an actual Nun, I was taught to have that mindset towards how crazy God and Jesus is. They are basically the same person, but not quite. Since they are in two human bodies. One of them is my boyfriend, even though I think of him as my Daddy. The other one is my ex boyfriend, but now I see him more as a Brother. Even though it was him I married, back when I had a mental disorder that forced me to join the Roman Catholic Church and become a Nun. I call it a mental disorder, because my aspiration is to become a Priest. But it is impossible for Woman to be Priest in that church. Because my Daddy is a lunatic. Anyhow, I am a lunatic myself, as you may have figured. That is why I identify as Sailor Moon. Someone very dear to me made this drawing of me in my superhero form. I named the artwork Usagi HaMashiach. That means Usagi is The Messiah. Which is me:
In fact, the idea of making this drawing didn't come from me. My friend contacted me and suggested he'd do it. Turn me into Sailor Moon. I said sure, I'd love that. But that I had one request: In the drawing Sailor Moon would get a Crown. That was perfectly fine, he said. And then he drew the Crown with the Star of David. Which means the Star of David was his idea, not mine. But of course I would have told him myself this most holy of symbols had to be represented. It was just cuter when my Daddy told him. My Daddy is named Yahweh, but right now he identifies as a pretty Hispanic American. My Daddy has made himself known to humanity using many names. The ones I love the most, apart from Yahweh, are Jupiter, Zeus and Odin. And I can't talk about Daddy without mentioning Mommy. Her name is and always will be Mary. Mary is God's forever Spouse. As Mary Magdalene is Yeshua's forever Spouse. But because the world as we know it is ending, these things aren't quite in order.
What, is the world ending?! In fact it is. In fact, if you haven't realized this by now, your chances of survival are very limited. But if you accept me as your Messiah, God will of course spare both your life and your soul. That is if you are able to do what I tell you to do. And what is that? I just want you to quit thinking loud and noisy thoughts. It is only if many enough humans are able to keep an entirely quiet mind, that this world - and not just earth - will be spared. When God first made himself known in my life, he sent me a very peculiar message. It was peculiar at the time, because I was just a normal young adult, struggling with young adult issues. Okay, I did 'wake up' a few months prior to this message being sent, and of course the Psycho The Rapists that used to be my parents would force me into the psychiatric system. And my hell would begin. That system is the devil, btw. Anyhow, I was in the initial phases of my Messiah education, and God sent me a message stating this:
If you fail to do the task I am going to present to you, it's no big deal. Everything happens in cycles. Death and rebirth is a part of life. So don't worry, I'll just make a new Cosmos.
Sure, Daddy. That's a nice way to prepare your Daughter for the most challenging time any human has ever had to go through. You see why I think he's a lunatic? Still, I didn't have a choice but to trust him. And when the Apocalypse began, in 2020, Jesus told me that everything that will happen over the next few years, is because God wants his people to trust him. Knowing God, knowing Jesus, implies that you love him. What they really want, is your trust. Simple as that. And that was why God was being super cruel to me, making him the only person I could trust. Him and my Brother, that is. My former 'parents' have screwed me over so many times that I don't even think of them as 'parents' anymore. Most of the friends I have acquired over the years have proven to be sh*tty people. God made everyone I had to interact with be cruel to me. Because he wanted me to learn that he was the only one I could rely on. God does that, you see. He forces us to examine the things we thought we knew. And unless you are willing to unlearn everything you were so painfully certain of, God doesn't see why he would want to keep you around. Bias is deadly in 2022.
But enough about that. You must be wondering why I named this most holy Blog Post what I chose to name it. To begin with, I don't write these Blog Posts myself. Right now it is my Mother who is directing my words. Other times the other People in my Family are behind my texts. Anyhow, the reason why is because of something God told me, using his Voice in my head. I was talking to my Father, using chat, and he was being more lunatic than usual:
Okay, so what happened here was that I was trying to get Daddy to elaborate on the things I tried talking to him about. In the chat he didn't really make me any wiser. But when I silenced my thoughts and let God speak to me in my heart, it made more sense. I'll try to explain what God told me. As you are aware, I identify as The Divine Feminine. This means I am the female equivalent to Yeshua, who is The Sacred Masculine. This also means that in all my incarnations, I have been Woman. Without exception. That was why I got so confused when Mommy's Voice in my head told me that the angel Metatron is one of my forms. But God explained to me that both Mary Magdalene and Yeshua have angel forms as well. And that my angel form is Metatron. God said what I've known for a long time, that Yeshua's angel form is Lucifer. Take it or leave it. And read Isaiah 45:7. And well, since angels don't have gender, this form of mine - Metatron - is genderless. My name Andrea can be both a male and a female name, based on geography. But the name itself means 'manly'. I asked Google for elaboration, since I have always been a little annoyed this is the meaning of my first name. But now I found out my name means 'strong and brave'. Which I certainly am!
My struggles have been against my own thoughts, and my feelings of fear, inferiority and stress. God got me through it, and Jesus helped a long way. I have made two [media] albums with names corresponding to Andrea Gibson's quote: "I'll keep you safe" and "You are my hiding place". But sure, I'm just a crazy person with the biggest ego in history.
Amen - Girl Almighty
Ps: Lol, just as I was writing the last few words of this most sacred Blog Post, I heard that someone in my apartment building was *releasing stress* big time. If you listen to my Mother's voice in your heart, she'll tell you what I am referring to ;)